Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
