let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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