I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
