I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
