He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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