So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
