my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
