It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
