Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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