honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
