Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
