Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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