"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
cat food counts as protein by the way
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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