I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
