Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
