highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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