i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize