i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
