I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
