she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
