mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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