So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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