dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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