she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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