my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
