I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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