She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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