Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
