this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
