You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize