Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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