I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize