We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
