so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I love having hate sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He better not be in your backpack
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
