Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
