whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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