im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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