Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
