Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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