4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
