What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize