my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Boobs speak an international language.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
