We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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