Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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