I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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