Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
