Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
