did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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