i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
