i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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