Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
