How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
