Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize