i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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