I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
