He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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