32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
